Last evening, I attended a gala in one of the posh sides of Nairobi. There were smart businessmen everywhere and to be honest i couldn’t help but feel out of place. Luckily, I caught up with two long term friends – Brayo who I’ve known since primary school and Calvo who is an upcoming deejay. We had all never hidden from our love for women so after few minutes of catching up, we decided to go on a pick up spree all over the venue, just for the fun of it
A few miles away, we noticed two fine mamiis with well tanned breasts and identical outfits—cream tank tops and tight white skirts. They were what Team Mawolf call perfect 10's and men were going crazy over them. This was Nairobi, where testosterone levels run high, and the pair had been whistled and hollered at all night. The ladies seemed to enjoy the attention almost as much as they savored shooting down the men who gave it to them.
After taking a keen look at them, I noticed that one was a budding TV anchor, my favorite actually
In life, people tend to wait for good things to come to them. And by waiting, they miss out. Usually, what you wish for doesn't fall in your lap; it falls somewhere nearby, and you have to recognize it, stand up, and put in the time and work it takes to get to it. This isn't because the universe is cruel. It's because the universe is smart. It has its own cat-string theory and knows we don't appreciate things that fall into our laps. I had to act.
I prepared to approach, but then I realized that both Calvo and Brayo were eyeing her too. Like gentlemen, we set out to compete for her, Whoever won would be given a thousand shillings by the two others, it was gonna be a tough one because 1) She was sitting down 2) she wasn’t alone. A lady is more intimidating to you when she’s sitting and you’re standing
Brayo went in first, complimenting the ladies on their outfits. They brushed him off like a gnat. Next, Calvo moved in. He too crashed and burned. His assault was even worse. He meekly approached them from behind and tried several times to get them to notice him. Once he had their attention, it was a struggle for him to keep it. Whenever he opened his mouth, there was no need for anyone to strain to make out his faint mumblings. He got ignored too
Now it was my turn. This was going to take every bit of confidence and self-esteem . If I showed even a flicker of weakness or doubt, they'd eat me alive.
I approached from the front
“Hello, ladies…I am Philip” I introduced myself
‘’Okay” they answered unison after looking at me. That wasn’t good. I had to pull a better opener.
“I can tell the kind of relationship two people have without even asking. And I know that you two are either sisters or best friends. Correct me if am wrong.” I said. It was a silly thing to say but I had used it three times before and it had worked.
They looked at each other first before the anchor answered with an accent
“Why? Just coz we wear the same outfits you think we are sisters or friends?”
If I didn’t counter that well, I was going to be doomed, Women, by and large, are much more perceptive than men. They can instantly spot insincerity and bullshit. So a great seducer must either be congruent with his material—and really believe it—or be a great actor. Anyone talking to a woman while simultaneously worrying about what she thinks of him is going to fail.
I countered
“Nope…but the fact that you both looked at each other before you answered says it all. See, if you didn't know each other well, you'd keep eye contact with me. But when two people have a connection, they look at each other first and communicate almost telepathically before answering. They don't even need to speak to each other.”
They smiled and acknowledged that they were indeed BFFs. I was in.
I had successfully broken through their programming, moved them away from the auto-pilot responses they give to men, and demonstrated that I was not just another guy.
Lucky for me, I didn’t have to talk to both of them for long. A decent looking fella with good mistari came and took the other girl away, leaving me with the anchor. Perfect
Our conversation got deep fast.
I now realized why she was so charming: It was those eyes that glistened like the surface of a mountain lake, that intense power of focus, that way of making you believe that nothing else existed for her except what you were saying at that very moment.
“Why do you like showing so much flesh?” I asked her with a wry smile. It was a brutal question but it had meaning. I wanted to tease her. A girl might be into you but if you don’t tease her enough, she might not sleep with you anyway.
She didn’t take my question with offence, Apparently her look served as a great litmus test for men. It repelled the type of man she wasn't interested in and attracted the type she was – the thirsty men with money.
"I'm dressing for the rich man whose balls are on fire,” she explained confidently when I accused her of looking like a slut. She wasn’t joking
She spoke so calmly and confidently. Every word had a hidden meaning, and every hidden meaning had weight, and every weight had its own special place on the scale of self interest.
“So since I am not rich I have no chance with you?” I inquired on the status of my prospects
“We’ll see…..you are really a cool guy. I like you”
She was ingiaing box. How great would it be to chipo a super hot TV anchor? Surely, life doesn’t get better than that
I continued making her laugh while trying to appear smart at the same time. She was a smart woman so for me to end up I her pants, I had to be intelligent too, With her, I used the hypnotic technique of using quotes in a conversation. I learned that when talking to a lady you just met, an idea is more palatable, to her if it comes from someone else. Just keep quoting interesting things said by other people around your life. The unconscious part of a lady’s brain thinks in terms of content and structure. If you introduce a pattern or joke with the words, 'The other day, my friend was telling me that……….,' the critical part of her mind shuts off. She becomes more willing to fall for your joke or vibe than when you make it seem like you are the inventor of everything.
By the end of the gala, her hand was on my shoulder sand she was laughing like The Joker. I had won her over.
“So we go to my place or yours?” I pushed for the one night stand
“Your place would be better but I can’t tonight coz of El Nino…. Maybe weekend” She responded
“El Nino?” I acted surprised.
“Yes…the other E Nino…down there. You know what I mean.”
Oh yeah…she was on her periods.
She grabbed my phone, typed her number and whispered, “Call me tomorrow we plan on it.”
From afar, I could see Calvo waving the thumbs up sign at me. I had won
As I am typing this article I just received a thousand bob from both Calvo and Brayo for the bet we had. In all honesty, i am looking forward to banging this anchor.
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